
 Re:Oh telstra you dorks tsarkon reports 

Your parents are stupid fucks like you. Those stupid fucks dont need to email anyone. So fuck you. Fuck your parents. 
Fuck Bigpond, only less than you, fuck your emails. And fuck your timeline, your little human ways, your earth year. I 
am Igniknot and we are here with the wolfen and his razor.

9 steps to greasing your anus for Yoda Doll Insertion!
v 3.95.0

   1. Defecate. Preferably after eating senna, ex lax, prunes, cabbage, pickled eggs, and Vietnamese chili garlic 
sauce. Defecation could be performed in the Return of the Jedi wastebasket for added pleasure. [homestead.com]
   2. Wipe ass with witch hazel, soothes horrific burns. (Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda can use witch-hazel on mouth to soothe 
the horrific burns from performing so much analingus.)
   3. Prime anus with anal ease. [dimout.com] (Now Cherry Flavored for those butthole lick-o-phillic amongst you - very 
popular with 99% of the Slashdotting public!)
   4. Slather richly a considerable amount of Vaseline and/or other anal lubricants into your rectum at least until the 
bend and also take your Yoda Doll [starwars-rpg.net] , Yoda Shampoo bottle [homestead.com] or Yoda soap-on-a-rope 
[homestead.com] and liberally apply the lubricants to the Doll/Shampoo/Soap-on-a-rope.
   5. Pucker your balloon knot several times actuating the sphincter muscle in order to work it in.
   6. Put a nigger do-rag [firstlinemfg.com] on Yoda's head so the ears don't stick out like daggers!
   7. Make sure to have a mechanism by which to fish Yoda out of your rectum, the soap on the rope is especially useful 
because the retrieval mechanism is built in. [homestead.com]
   8. Slowly rest yourself onto your Yoda figurine. Be careful, he's big! [starwars-rpg.net]
   9. Gyrate gleefully in your computer chair while your fat sexless geek nerd loser fat shit self enjoys the prostate 
massage you'll be getting. Think about snoodling [urbandictionary.com] with the Sarlaac pit. Read Slashdot. Masturbate 
to anime. Email one of the editors hoping they will honor you with a reply. Join several more dating services - this 
time, you don't check the (desired - speaks English) and (desired - literate). You figure you might get a chance then. 
Order some fucking crap from Think Geek. Get Linux to boot on a Black and Decker Appliance. Wish you could afford a new 
computer. Argue that IDE is better than SCSI because you can't afford SCSI. Make claims about how Linux rules. Compile 
a kernel on your 486SX. Claim to hate Windows but use it for Everquest. Admire Ghyslain's courage in making that 
wonderful star wars movie. Officially convert to the Jedi religion. Talk about how cool Mega Tokyo is. Try and make 
sure you do your regular 50 story submissions to Slashdot, all of which get rejected because people who aren't fatter 
than CowboyNeal can't submit. Fondle shrimpy penis while making a Yoda voice and saying, use the force [toysrgus.com], 
padawan, feeel the foooorce [toysrgus.com], hurgm. Yes. Yes. 


